Tuesday 11 February 2014

Sunday, 14th May, 1837

What a miserable, filthy little pig Fisher is.

I have seen more likeable blood sucking leeches and rat turds with greater charm.

I am astonished by his latest treachery.

In Council this week - held in Light's hut -  he had the unmitigated gall to announce that "Officers of the Government were dependent upon him for the payment of their salaries". Dependent upon him, if you please! According to this upstart, "Officers of the government" - myself included - are to line up and tug our forelocks and be grateful when he doles out our allowances.

As if I - the King's representative - am going to allow myself to be dependent on some twopenny lawyer who, in London, would have been hard pressed to be instructed in a case of petty theft, but who has ideas above his station here in the colony.

The thing smacks of treason and of republicanism! The Royal representative - and by extension, the King - expected to come cap in hand to him so that we can be paid a few pennies to live on. The man thinks he is Cromwell and wishes to place me in the Charles Stuart role. Well, I won't be needing two shirts to stop from shivering! I'll shiver him, the bastard!

I have let him know that I have written to London and expressed my displeasure at his conduct in strong terms.

In retaliation he has asserted that the land used by the Buffalo Sailors to build outhouses and to lay out a garden for Government House was not a part of the land set aside by Light for that purpose and hence I have encroached upon - a polite way Lawyers have of saying "stolen" - public lands and should be charged with trespass. And again - the Kings's representative putting Crown Lands to good use. The jumped up pillock!

And then he tried to block me on the Proclamation of Port Adelaide.

I had prepared a proclamation declaring the port to be a legal port and describing and naming its boundaries. He has come out and declared that I have no right to name any part of the colony or any land within the Province and that he would devise names for the port and that I could stick it in my pipe and smoke it,

To which I replied, with quiet dignity, that if  he thought that I was about to tolerate a know nothing land lubber ignoramus such as him making an utter mishmash of describing an ocean port when a sailor of forty years experience, a naval hero and a friend of Nelson (I meant myself) had already, with one hand behind his back, done a better job of it than he could dream of doing then he was a complete arse and a fool to boot.

I told him that I had written to London once and could do it again and I would seek instructions from the Colonial Office as to who was in the right and whose plan for the port was the proper one.

At which point he snatched up pen and paper and scribbled out a note stating that it was his intention to resign his position, then flounced out of the hut, shouting "I just cannot work under these conditions. I am surrounded by amateurs!"

Well, what of that? I had the miserable man's resignation, was rid of him and wished him a sailor's farewell - goodbye and be buggered!.

Well, clearly when he got home Mrs Fisher had a word in his shell like, because a day or two later I received word from him that his letter only stated his intention to resign and was not an actual resignation and since he had now changed his mind he now intended to resume his position.

Well, I wasn't having any of that! I had the miserable sod's resignation and that was good enough for me. I called upon Mann, the Advocate General and asked for legal advice. Of course I should have consulted Jeffcott, but Mann is, after all, the Chief Lawyer in the colony. Mann concurred with Fisher that the letter only stated that he intended to resign and was not a resignation. I said that having learned of his intention then the resignation was implied, but apparently Mann thought this would not stand up in Court. I couldn't help thinking that if I slipped Jeffcott a couple of pounds then it probably would, but reluctantly instructed Gouger to send Fisher a letter notifying him of my decision to graciously overlook his rash foolishness and allow him to return to his position. I also included a paragraph or two expressing my opinion that because I chose to overlook his resignation he was included in Council at my behest and I expected some signs of gratitude in future. I chose not to rub it in, but I did just point out the facts.

I have since learned that Gouger gussied the letter up somewhat, omitting much of what I wrote and telling him that I would appreciate Fisher's wise counsel and advice and ready assistance despite me specifically saying that such slop was not to be included.

And so the foul excrescence is back in the  Council and we are no further along to naming anything or proclaiming a damned thing.

The little turd.

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